6 People You Should Never Hire

Unless of course, you want to ruin your life.
By Gil Schwartz, Men's Health

You're sitting across the desk from somebody who wants you to give him a job. He looks pretty good. He speaks well. His résumé is fine. You even like him a little bit. But something is ... off. A little maggot of uncertainty has lodged in the back of your gut and is eating its way to your spine, which is tingling, and not in a good way.

Nonsense, you say to yourself. You've been looking for somebody to fill this sensitive post for weeks. There's work to be done, and until you find the right guy, you'll have to do it. You didn't rise this high in the corporation to do the work yourself. You need somebody, and fast. So you stand, you reach your hand across the desk, and you ...

Stop!

Sit down. You're about to make what is possibly the worst mistake in business. Once this wanker is ensconced close to your bosom, it will take months to (1) ascertain that you did the wrong thing, (2) figure out what to do about him, and (3) do it. How much better it would be not to hire the wrong guy in the first place!

Here are the six types of people you should never let through your door, unless they're delivering pizza to a meeting:

The Loafer
In the beginning, he arrives early to establish his credentials as a hard worker, which he is not. By month 2, he regularly shows up 15 minutes late. At 10 a.m., he may be found standing in the hallway kibitzing with the prettiest girl on the floor, coffee in hand. Loafers are all about the coffee: It creates the illusion they're hopped up and ready to go. When the day heats up at 2:30, he's still at lunch. "Hey," he'll tell you upon his return, "I didn't even get out of here until 1:45!" Loafers always have an excuse.

Spot him during the interview: He's a bit late and blames the traffic, has too many jobs on his résumé, and says a lot of negative stuff about his former employers. His references aren't bad, exactly. They talk about how smart he is, and how in the right position he might reach his terrific potential. Sure he will. But as Einstein said, genius is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration. And this guy just isn't sweaty enough. Show him the door.

The Weasel
He's sly, untrustworthy, and ready to stab you in the back or bite you in the ass, whichever is easier. He doesn't show the true color of his underbelly until he's established a small, comfortable power base for himself, a network of similarly untrustworthy types who despise the people they work for. One day, when the stakes are high, this greasy stoat will rear up on his hind legs and hurt you, unless you strike him down first. So get ready. You're going to need all your craft to unseat this loser.

Spot him during the interview: He smiles way too much. What's he smiling about? Is he listening to some sardonic voice that only he can hear? Ask him to describe past bosses. He will have only nice things to say, but not really ... a dark something underneath, you can feel it, unspoken. Does he make eye contact for any extended period of time, or does his gaze shift ever so slightly when you try to lock into it? And the handshake. It will either be too hard, too soft, too long, too short, or just plain limp and weird.

The Bridegroom
He idolizes and emulates you and wants to be your very special guy. That's because, ultimately, he wants to be you. Once you hire him, he's like crazy glue in your hair.

A bridegroom is useless. He's afraid of offending you or diverting even a tiny bit from what he perceives to be your plan. The thing is, you have no plan. You need people to help you decide what to do, and this guy is never going to do that. Now you're stuck.

Spot him during the interview: Easy. He's way too animated for somebody who's just applying for a job. He knows too much about you as well. He's Googled you and found out the name of your first-grade teacher. He's read every quote you've ever given to any newspaper. He makes you feel really great about yourself, which is why rejecting him will be difficult. But suck it up! You don't need sycophants!

The Psycho Killer
It's nice to fantasize about having a person even more focused on the destruction of your enemies than you are. And at first, you may not mind the psycho killer. As his character develops, however, his liabilities begin to pop out all over the place. His world is populated with adversaries who must be wiped from the face of the planet. It's exhausting. And when you grow weary of his crazy, violent style, he will quickly turn against you, his new betrayer.

Spot him during the interview: Look at how his mouth is set. It's hard and fixed. Peer into his eyes. They're vague and squishy, until you mention his former employer, or the upcoming elections, or the possibility of global warming hurting the apricot crop, and then whoa, stand back. His orbs burn like glowing coals. Regard how he sits in his chair leaning back, totally centered, as if nothing could budge him, a coiled snake ready to strike. Now get him out of there.

The Replicant
He's cold. He's capable. He has no heart. He has no family. He has no dog, no cat, no pet fish. He has no empathy. All he has is his MBA. He works on weekends and wants to know why you don't. He follows orders perfectly, but all his ideas are mean-spirited and cost somebody, someplace, his or her livelihood.

Once hired, he will immediately find his fellow replicants within the company and begin to bond with them. They will share a salad and bottled water for lunch in the executive dining room and talk about the breakup value of the company. They have no loyalty to anybody beyond that which is required by the corporate handbook. He does not hate and he does not love. He will drain you of your joy of doing business, and destroy any affection your team members have toward one another. Be very afraid.

Spot him during the interview: Note the pinstripe on his back. Also notice where he got his business degree. Wharton, in particular, teaches a cold, calculating style that makes people very rich while stripping away a layer of inconvenient humanity. But it's not fair to blame any one school. MBAs don't earn those pinstripes by thinking about the good of the world. They save that for after they've racked up their billions. Talk to this one about whatever horrible merger is destroying the most lives at the moment. See him light up like a nuclear power plant. Then suggest he head over to McKinsey right away. They're generally hiring the next-gen horsemen of the apocalypse

The Future CEO
This guy is going to run the place one day. He has the story line all worked out, and you're a chapter in it. The problem for him, if you're sharp enough to spot him, is that he's wrong. This is the story of your life, right?

Spot him during the interview: Count the number of times he says "I." There's no "I" in team. Send that monkey back to the jungle.

nice tips but i hope this has scientific basis so were not being bias following it